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J. Reed Anderson

Here's to your cherries, John! I've encountered those who are fervently locavorian (did I just make that up?) and earnest about all that you object to. They're the same folks who often want "community gardens," and locally grown, in residential neighborhoods, livestock (chickens for meat and eggs; cattle for meat and dairy--seriously, I'm not making this up) that can be sold to local grocery stores and restaurants. What I find is that they are naive not only about farming, but about economics (if everyone is raising chickens, how many can be sold?) and all the vast and variety of federal, state, and local health and environmental regulations that govern not just how such food can be sold, but how the farmer must protect the earth and water (manure is a potential hazardous substance). They're idiots, but I never know where to begin telling them so.

John Pepple

You're right that they're idiots, but annoying and sometimes dangerous ones. One never knows what will be coming next from them that will upset one's established routines or way of life.


To the tune of Gilligan's Island.

Come listen to a story of a community that wanted only locally grown.
They thought that'll be the way to go, eat only what they have sown.

They drew up an ordinance, to buy nothing from afar.
They pledged nothing would then come in by train, ship or car. (Train, ship or car !)

No lemons!, No Limes, No pineapple! Not a single citrus fruit!
No papayas and no mangos, and bananas were out to boot !

No maple syrup or fluffy rice cakes, they were three hours away by car ! (three hours away by car!)
No cod nor scrod nor crab nor shrimp, all shores were just too far !

They sowed their fields with assorted grains of wheat, barley, oats and rye.
But, too late they realized, their land was just too dry !

And the cows they kept ate what little what was left. And within the ensuing drought,
their utters were left quite bereft, and their calves all died out. (Their calves all died out!)

The children cried, the elderly moaned for days when they were fed.
But now they could only dream of that, when they tossed in bed!

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